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Do you ever worry that other people are up to something? Like cheating, how do you manage the fear of a partner possibly being bad or possibly doing something bad?

Can’t even look for jobs or consider any type of job that has anything to do with being around kids, my brain just tells me I want to work there for a bad reason, the thoughts feel so real, it tells me that I am a P. I just want to be normal. I can’t even look at myself, I just feel like there’s something off about me, and that I’m a bad person.

18+ please! Sorry if this inappropriate. Does anyone else deal with the consequences of having consumed pornography and has ocd? Can you tell me if you also have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sexual activity? I'm not proud to say that I had access to this type of content at a young age and it grew with me until the first years of my adult life. I only became aware of the extent of the damage when I received my ocd diagnosis and even though my therapist and I believe that I have had ocd since childhood, addiction to pornography was an important factor in making the disorder worse since I suffer from graphic images and sexual content intrusive thoughts I've been trying to learn how to have a good relationship with my sexuality without using pornography for a few months, but it's not always easy to use my imagination when I have some tabs open in my head that get in my way. I really can't and don't want to have access to any type of adult content anymore, but I always think it's easier to be able to "silence" intrusive thoughts. It's happened several times where I try to use my imagination and then I have an intrusive thought and I think I stimulated myself by thinking about it and it's just disgusting and I feel really bad. I've been trying to deal with this for months and with medical help for both problems, I really feel dirty and lost about it and I don't know how to make it stop. I spent days avoiding even thinking about anything sexual so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but my therapist said that this is also unhealthy and can become a compulsion, so I don't know what to do. Anyone who goes through/has gone through something similar?

Anyone else feel like they will never be understood in a relationship? Like I want to get to know other people but its like I feel like I am boring and my ocd just makes my life a living hell currently. No motivation to do nothing even though I have alot to do and literally having no purpose in life.Like I literally dont feel like I have ever enjoyed any of my life because it feels like I am not real or I am like a shadow in my own body? Its frustrating because my last relationship was horibbly toxic and the guy I was with was horrible and I broke things off after years of abuse and I have currently been having a hard time not to reach out to him after no contact for 3 months.I feel immense guilt like I was mean to him even though he cheated on me and a part of me says I deserve to go back to the abuse. And I feel like maybe I am punishing myself because my faith in God is not the strongest Ive stopped praying and I dont read the bible consistently becayse I get very overwhelmed because I want to make sure I am doing bible study correctly or ill be punished. (sorry for the spelling mistakes)

I think I might start panicking or something man…..it’s been a while since I actually started to become worried a lot over intrusive thoughts. I planned on doing homework for my summer classes today but I can’t seem to right now. I can’t concentrate. goooossshhhh I hate this

Hello everyone I’m new to the app and I’m hoping that some others can relate. I have this idea (even though I know it truly doesn’t “work”) that I can control if bad things happen to me. More so bad luck. I have sudden thoughts of having to perform rituals like locking my car three times, making sure my clothes in my drawer are put away neatly, or cracking all my knuckles to make sure I don’t have “bad luck” if I don’t do these rituals I feel like I’m inviting bad luck into my life. Does anyone else have something similar?

hey all:) hoping i get some responses in this. i’ve been doing a lot better, but something i’m noticing is a. obsessing over obsessing and b. my brain going back and forth about my relationship. when im calm i feel so light and happy and open with my partner, but i find that my brain loves to switch back and forth and “rationalize” the thoughts i “used” to have. i’ll think: wow i don’t know where this is going but i feel happy and good! and other times that thought will make me anxious and ill be like “well what if i’m just settling, i’ve been ocd and anxious a lot in this relationship, what if it’s just not the right person? i don’t feel like i did in my last relationship (note this was an emotionally draining and abusive one), i can love someone and not be in love maybe that’s it, but are you REALLY sure and POSITIVE you like her, want this, blah blah these are all things that i can definitely accept and allow to be thoughts. i’ve been doing much better on this. but they are also things that my ocd has latched on to make me feel like it’s not an intrusive thought atp. i know i want to be with my partner and i know that this is something im working on and that it’s ocd. the thought of leaving her pains me. she checks all my boxes and loves me so much, and wouldn’t want to find anyone else! so i guess im asking, how do you feel secure and confident in continuing in relationships with uncertainty, how to you securely and confidently hold your ground with ocd and change your perspectives! i hope this makes sense

My adult son is suffering so much. He is basically non-functioning. He can’t get a job, focus on his college classes, or do much around the house because of his intrusive thoughts. He doesn’t want to hang out with his friends because his intrusive thoughts make him think he wants to be with them sexually. He refuses to take medicine or go to therapy because he is afraid that it will somehow prove that he doesn’t have OCD. He relies on me 100% to help with his OCD. It’s not working. He suffered for four years not knowing what it was, then finally broke down and told me about it about nine months ago. He stopped doing all drugs (he was self medicating). He’s an adult and can refuse treatment, but any advice about how I can encourage him to at least try would be greatly appreciated. Note: he did try Zoloft for a month and said it made his anxiety better which made him worry even more. Thanks.

Does anyone have any good book recommendations with characters who have OCD? I know Turtles All The Way Down is a very popular choice, and I do love the book as well as John Green himself, but I would love more options. I am also open to nonfiction book recommendations about varying topics around OCD (such as how to better handle OCD, the authors experience with OCD firsthand, understanding the inner workings of OCD, and more).

I have trouble leaving my home because of panic disorder and my OCD. I’ve not gone out longer than an hour and a half in 4 months. Today I went to a convention for 7 HOURS. There were times it was extremely difficult, and I wanted to leave, or I’d have an intrusive thought that something bad would happen to me, but I was able to squash it . However, now I’m home and I’m panicky 😫I can’t stop overthinking . But I can’t believe I did that today!

Hi everyone. I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years and love him so much. I have had ocd since I was 13 where i did therapy to learnt to manage the intrusive thoughts and was good for about 7 years up until about a month ago. My boyfriend hasn’t experienced me in this state of distress because my ocd was so under control and now im in a spiral. It’s causing me to think that my boyfriend won’t want to be with me or doesn’t want to have to deal with this until I get better. This spiked today because I was invited to go out with him and his family to meet one of his aunts for the first time and really wanted to but my thoughts stopped me from doing so. He then was sending me pictures of him having a good time which i am so happy that he is, but i want to be there too and he wants me to be there as well. I’m just really scared that this is disorder is what’s going to cause my relationship to end when it was going so well. We have so many events to look forward to in the future and I feel like I can’t even enjoy thinking about them.

I was very unsure about posting the fact that I became a conqueror today. I was so happy and excited getting this accomplishment, but also later in the day I had intrusive thoughts that made me distressed and cry a bit (which actually hasn’t happened in weeks). In the moment it felt like how the heck did I become a conqueror. I don’t deserve it. Ofc that’s what my OCD wants me to believe. What I thought was going to become a panic attack, ended up subsiding in less than 10 minutes. I said some response prevention messages to myself, and used the tools that I learned doing ERP with my therapist. (Shoutout to my AMAZING THERAPIST at NOCD Shannon Graepel) To keep this short. I experienced my first ever OCD episode a little less than 4 months ago. I then got diagnosed with OCD and started at NOCD. I thought I would never get better and that I would have to live struggling every day. But (from a Ted talk I once saw), it’s not about surviving each day, but about fighting everyday. From this experience, I’ve started reading books (which is crazy cuz I haven’t picked up a book for fun since 4th grade), I exercise everyday, and I meditate and do yoga occasionally. All things Ive picked up since my OCD episode started. Anything you do that helps you mentally/helps with your OCD, even if it’s just a short breathing exercise, is SOMETHING and pointing to you to the right direction of recovery. Don’t get me wrong I have my bad days, like ironically today, but I am confident I will continue fighting and not let my OCD control my life. AND I am confident that all of you can too😊 Also shoutout to all the people that answered my community posts during the hard times🫡 y’all are real ones.

Hi, I’m not new here, and if you’ve seen any other of my posts you’ll know I’m undiagnosed, i don’t know if I have ocd The thing is, I think I’ve struggled with ZOCD (which is super super super horrible, since I’m a super fan animals) since 2022, but since last November it has became so horrible, and the worst part is that I think I have false memories too, so a really bad combination I’ve been working a lot, to the point that I’m not longer afraid of being in the same house as my dog (I was so afraid of it) but I still have some horrible thoughts that I’m gonna do something bad to one, and I have this intrusive images that make me think that this images aren’t imahes but repressed memories (since the images appear the exact moment when I’m for example petting the dog or washing the mares that babysit sometimes) But although that, I thought I was getting better but I have now this fear of impusivy acting on an image and it scares me a lot, but I try to not avoid things because I’m 80% convinced that I have ocd The thing is, today I was at school and I was writing with my black pen, blue pen and my red color and sometimes when I write the ink falls over my fingers, and gets in my nails. After I stoped writing, I and took a long time while packing my stuff in my backpack, and I was leaving my seat of the outside table because it was time to go home and this dog (I’m in Mexico, and sometimes dogs live in the universitys) wanted to greet me, and she was really cute so I pet her as an exposure I think, but then I had to walk past her to get to get to the exit, so I got mentally brave and passed by her side without grabbing both of my hands (I do that when I’m scared of involuntary doing something horrible) , but I got this image of me doing something horrible to her, and i first was like, of course that didn’t happen, but then my mind focused in one finger (I think was the one that I used to close my backpack) and I checked this finger and had like a little purple ink it, and now I’m freaking out because what if the image happen and I did something horrible to her, an the ink isn’t ink but blood or something (even though it seems like ink, since some pens ink turn a little purple when dried and the red color could have helped) but I’m freaking out now, I’m trying to recreate the exact same ink colour on my other nails to make myself sure that it was ink and not something else, the problem is that the pen is not working and I don’t have another pen of that exact brand so I don’t know what else to do I’m scared, and if it where true I could not live anymore, and I’m scared that I didn’t noticed that that hypothetical did happen but that that other people did noticed (if it were true) and they are going to think I’m bad person and I just never know and my life is gonna be a lie or that I’m just in denial AAAAA Please please help me :((

unfortunately I'm having a rough few days with OCD this week, even though I'm super excited to be finishing college and making progress in my treatment and therapy, last night I had a dream about an intrusive thought and it made me worry and it's on my mind throughout the day, I couldn't even sleep very well because I kept waking up and ruminating about what that dream could or couldn't mean. I hope tonight is calmer and that it doesn't affect my sleep so much, I really wish I could get rid of OCD for good, it's just too tiring and confusing some days.

I was basically having a breakdown arguing with my family, I was in the phone and my cat kept coming towards my feet meowing and I got mad and used my foot to push her out the door but she kinda went far and she went meow:( I slammed the door and I feel so f-ing bad I feel like I hurt her and im an abuser :( ive never done anything like this. I pushed her really hard with my foot. I know I didn’t kick her but what if the push really did hurt her:( im crying so bad im supposed to go on vacation today I don’t want to leave her

So I have been 5 days without intrusive thoughts which is a big accomplishment for me. Yesterday broke the streak. I was job shadowing and this girl i thought was so skinny and pretty how does she not have a boyfriend and i thought I was a dude i wouldn't turn my head away and now I'm thinking no one has said this before and that this means something. I know it's my ocd acting up but it's annoying. Plus it also tried to say in a narrative that sounded like me that I would date her and i immediately felt disturbed which just again told me everything about who I am sexually as a confident and comfortable straight woman

Frist off, I am not asking for reassurance nor do I have concrete plans of suicide, so please don't flag. I am just asking because my therapist was asking if I had Suicidal OCD or actual suicidal ideation, but I am unsure how to exactly tell them apart. I mostly get thoughts of "I am worthless and don't deserve to live" and intrusive images of seeing myself commiting suicide, but they theme ego-dystonic. On the other hand sometimes there are feeling of actual worthlessness and being overwhelmed with life.

Hey guys! So I’m suffering with this subtype. I feel like I developed a crush on someone of the same sex and I have always identified as a straight woman. I’ve always been attracted to men. I feel like I get the feelings of a crush but it’s always followed by intense anxiety. “What if this crush is real?” “Am I now Bi?” I just can’t shake the feeling that the feelings are real and I need to accept them but then what if it’s false attraction or OCD? “What if I’m in denial?” I’m in a relationship with a man who I really love and want to be with. I only want feelings for him. I don’t want to like women or be attracted to a woman. What do I do?

Hello, I am fairly new to this app. I wanted to speak about the way I dream. I have dreams like I am hurt physically usually bloody either self inflicted or by some random person in my dream. Then I get saved by people I care about like friends or even people that I have a crush on. Or sometimes I have dreams that I speak about tramuatic events that I went through as a child to a crush and the feel bad for me and want to help me. I dont fear these dreams at all but I notice every time I sleep I ball my fists and when I dont I cant sleep.I clench my fists so hard in the morning they are sore. Also these dreams are almost every night.I am also very sensitive to how people talk to me if I am yelled at I shut down and have chest palpitations that radiate to my heart to my arms numbing it. Does anyone else experience any of these? Ive been researching and found myself here. For reference I have been tested for ADHD and I dont have it but I was told I might have OCD from the other symptoms I experience like heavy Intrusive thoughts, anxiety attacks/episodes, depression,dissociation ( like I am not real and even my emotions are like frozen and more) , bothered all day if something is moved by someone else when I put it a certain way, rituals ( blinking, and looking away from something multiple times mostly in number of twos etc), contamination ( washing my hands many times in between getting dressed after eacb task to feel clean), hating certain textures of fabrics or objects(more of a werid one ive had for a long time),procrastination, reassurance on all my action causing me to not think for myself, poor memory or false memory,and more.Any response would be helpful.

My mental health is at its lowest and I'm sick of existing