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Just imagine a man teasing u for a kiss his hands rapped around u I love men but idk why these thoughts of girls come in ma mind

I have had a boyfriend for officially 3 months today. We only kissed for the first time on the lips like 2 weeks ago roughly. We do it once or twice when we hang out each time lately usually, it's a bit awkward but it's cause we haven't really had a relationship before. I'm not ready right now for sex and I don't think he is ether, we are both quite awkward people which is fine. I keep trying to live in the moment but I'm worried about sex a little. A little less lately but at the very least right now im worried how long I'll take to he ready and that I'll take longer then a normal person. Personally I'd like to wait atleast a few more months (if he is cool with it too, I want him to also be ready) but I'm worried that it's uncommon to wait for like 6 or more months. It feels not drastic to me. But idk. My mom asked me if I want to get birth control yet, she asked cause I've been staying out with him very late she said, but it's just because we watch movies and stuff. I know she had a reason but what if she just assumed I would by now. I don't think my boyfriend would care much if I took long and he was ready before me, he said to me that sex was just a bonus in relationships. But what I'm weird? What it I take 6 months or more then 6 months, would that he uncommon? Would it be weird? Part of me wants to just not worry about when I'll be ready and focus on the now. But ocd won't let me because I have nothing else to worry about lately. Please give me advice

Question: There has been an OCD “what if thought” that is a question within a question if that makes sense? It’s been very hard and frustrating when it pops up. The compulsion is to look up the what if question online, and there is fear and worry with that. It has been such a headache and scary! Any suggestions? I have OCD.

I suffer from severe relationship obsessive compulsive disorder and I was doom scrolling and I noticed my bf liked a video with these goth ladies. It was a super wholesome video, but they were dressed a bit weird. It’s not the first time I saw a video like this that he liked so it happened twice, but it sends me in a spiral that lasts like a few days. I get the feeling that he likes them more than me, and it makes my heart and blood run cold. Like an actually feeling like that. I keep replaying it in my head, and feel really upset. I was having such a good day, but I feel so awful, anxious, and worried about it.

Question for the girlies.. - - Does anyone notice their OCD spiking before or during your period? I’m about to begin mine and the OCD is LOUDER than normal..

Hey everyone! I can’t stop worrying that I might be sick with something serious like cancer. I went to my doctor about a month ago and he checked me and said I’m okay. I didn’t do my blood test this year because I’m so scared of it (last year’s results were perfect). Lately, I spend most of my time constantly analyzing my body, trying to find if something is wrong, and I just can’t stop worrying. I also feel like checking online or even asking ChatGPT makes it worse. Has anyone else experienced this? If yes, how do you cope with it? Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you so much! 🩷

I had a small epiphany this morning while brushing my teeth. I’m now choosing to focus on what’s happening now. All I know is that I have OCD. All I know is that after years of numbness, my old crush on someone grew, and now he’s my boyfriend. All I know is that I like to be around him and I was/am excited to be his girlfriend. The weird childhood exploration, uncomfortable memories, other things that happened in the past may or may not have meaning. I don’t know and right now at this moment, I really don’t care. I’m done debating with this. When SOOCD was only just a tiny mosquito bugging me from time to time, I felt the real me again after YEARS of feeling like a rock. I don’t know if the things OCD tells me will happen, and that’s ok even if I think it’s scary and horrible. I don’t know if OCD is right about me. All I know right now is I got a date coming up soon and I want to enjoy it. I hope anyone who reads this has a good/easier day. We can get through this!!!

Changing plays a part on ALL your senses. 1. Emotional Attachment Past experiences, especially those tied to love, loss, or trauma, often carry strong emotions. These feelings can linger and make it hard to move forward, especially if the past felt safer or more meaningful than the present. Stop fully investing in anyone (new) in 2003. 2. Unresolved Issues When something from the past remains unresolved — like unanswered questions, regrets, or unfinished business — the mind tends to revisit it, trying to make sense of it or find closure. Solved it all. say my peace , straight then ✌🏽. Key: all parties must take ownership of their part. And admit the truth that they don't want to see, or feel the pain from. My growth and healing does NOT depend on them. Sorry 3. Identity and Self-Perception People often define themselves by their past. If someone has built their identity around a particular experience or relationship, letting go can feel like losing a part of themselves. Partially agree. I do not identity with my past in that way. I was a runner so I wouldn't have to. 👎🏽✌🏽 4. Fear of the Unknown The future is uncertain, and the past is familiar. Even if the past was painful, it can feel safer than stepping into something new and unknown. WAS TRUE but from age 14 until not I am over it. Sometimes change is serenity and I love ❤️ that. 5. Guilt or Shame Some people hold on to the past because they feel guilty or ashamed about something they did or didn’t do. That emotional weight can make it hard to forgive themselves and move on. From a teenager to now, I have learned that my same stemmed from me being raised in church and hearing Bible verses in Mt head when I was deciding what was bad or good. Right or wrong in my parents eyes. It spent a lot of my adult young age years dealing with my morals and beliefs. Trying to be "good" and trying not to be a 'Statistic". At about 28, I threw those towels in. Because no matter what I did good people still labeled you. So I flipped a bird and decide that I didn't need anyone to reassurance me about nothing because I already know who I am. If they don't believe me then who gives a ahit, I dont. 6. Nostalgia and Idealization Sometimes, people romanticize the past, remembering it as better than it actually was. This idealization can make the present feel disappointing in comparidon't. I remember the buttlefies, and puppy dog tails because I want to. I also remember the perspectives for each of my siblings. The thing about it all is I had to force them to admit to the good stuff. They were old, so as a younger kid, it was like pulling teeth to get them to admit to the fun stuff. My problem with that is why hold onto ALL NEGATIVE SHIT AND NO POSITIVE? That by itself is miserable AF and I don't do things to myself like that. So when my family said your were a kid, your weren't even paying attention. I would bust their head by reciting what I knew and understood about each one of them. What mom had said in a problem directly to them, how she told them to fix, what they ask dad about and what he said know to, and who got mage at him and held it against him until he died. I felt the shit when you went through knuckle head... because I was there. I seen all yall tears, fears, AND brawls. Just because I wanted to smile didn't mean I did understand your scars. I believed in family and I also believe in love. I believe that good alway win. So I took that path. Shit was not that bad any, not she died and we all was separated. They do know the half... why because they would have hold some of the responsibility. The end 😝 You pass don't determine you. It's just a peace you. Those who don't want to let go of YOUR PAST, leave them there. And keep moving forward. Being there, done that and dues are paid. Thanks

Hiieee "Be the change that you wish to see in the world" "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten" "You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around". I love ❤️ all these sayings. Today I realize that African American people seem to not be willing to allow others to grow and "be." Some have the most difficult time in letting go of the pass and watching someone change. I find it very disheartening to see this. People want to constantly make me my mistake in the past or constantly want to force me to believe I have grown from or changed. They don't understand that just because you don't believe in me doesn't mean that I do not. All of my past mistakes are linked. And because I am able and willing to think positively, let go of past pains, and move forward. There are many people around me who wants me to remain STUCK, DESOLUTE. To fall back in old habits and be the person that I look like on paper. They want to keep you in a traumatized state of mind to see, "What will help." SMDH It's said that people purposefully hurt others for a thrill. Or are that intrusively nosey that try to use the correct acupuncture pin site to seat it all up to flames. Giggles I have a very high tolerance, but zero for BS. These are so-call Community helps. I don't play games, I just adapt to what is given to me. Always have always do. You can only work with what you have, right? But I am not that person that they want me to be. What they will never understand I that person is a survivor. And just because you don't believe in what she has survived and the repeated traumas she fought through and got away from is not on her its on you. I was once as by an Official body to write down all my pass issues that I could remember where I had gotten myself in trouble. To write the date and year, who I was with and what happen. Then truly write why did it happen. I did. After I completed that document and a re-read it back to myself I felt humiliation and dumb. But it also made me feel like I won at the same time. But I just took it as a win and then let that feeling go. Once I gave it to that requesting person, they said they read the document. Then they asked me how do I see myself. I said I am a person, I been there some things but I've managed and I am still here. As we spoke they said something that I did not equate to. Because for me since I am a fighter, and will fight through obstacles... they said "you have been through a lot of traumas and abuse you entire life. Do you think you experience PTSD? .... ? I've never looked at it like that..... It was life. Most people around me were going through worse shit and I'd get caught helping them with theirs so I could not be bothered with mine. It's what I could do to feel better until I could change it. In that moment once I got off the phone with that person. I read it from their perspective. It was very sad, it had a life time line that I did realize I had created. I wanted chronological order when I wrote because it help me to not miss the pieced. That person seen trauma, I seen pain and try to hold on to thing that I could not make better. I remember a Pastor saying to me, sometimes when you want to heal or even change to get better, you must change the people around you. That say bleeds my heart. That saying bleeds my heart. I have a enlarged bloody heartthrob is always about to explode. Over the years I have been very careful about who I allow to get close to me, to real know me. Of course all else is splattered on my background. But it is very minimal of those who KNOW KNOW ME and real love me. My youngest brother, I miss him so much. Since he has pass I have been wanting to talking him. Our last face to face we fought like cats and dogs. I knew why he cam to see me, he was reaching out to me and needed me. My baby brother never comes my way unless he needs me. Because he knew I have never let him fall. He was lost but he did see that I was running. He just thought I could snap my fingers and make it all be, "for him" like I always did. But he could not see me, mine. It is so much pressure when you have have your family who has their nose turned up and they ALL come to you to save them. No judgement, no words, just an open door, you're safe. My home, you'll always be safe, comfortable and can gain peace... and some reality... it you want to talk about it. But I could help at that time because I was running. And he didn't because he knew if I wanted to be done with someone, I was done. So he came with his ideas of how he could transition to where I was bit he never heard shit I was saying. And he is a hand full. And I would have down it but I wants ready nor it the right position. I know my family and I know what they expect of me even though they will never say it in positive or motivated way. He did, all the time... even cursing each other. My family will never, ever, ever, admit that my door had always been opened to them. They will never , ever, ever admit that they came to me to help them through in there lifetime more than once. My behaviors sometimes was a little unorthodox but it got shit done, right. My brother depended on me like I was his mother, I saved him as much as I could. He was the type that as soon as you'd tell him he was fuckijg up ... all of a sudden he was a grown as man. I could never waot for him to say those words to me. Because a soon as I fixed things and taught things, and organized his adventures and disadvantages... he was a grown man again. And when he wasn't there yet every male figure around me was a threat. The shit was crazy. He asked once, am I your blood. I said, Yes, babe bro you are. He said you trick those guys you date better than me. I said I do not. I am very strict with you because I know you and I know when you are about to get yourself in trouble. You get restless and you start talking dumbshit. My guy friends get it too. But you're mine, my family I want you alive. I have the rights to you know them. He alway worried about me get married again, so scared of someone taking me away somewhere and him not being able to follow. I promised him that I was go nowhere the he couldn't come. If I did, I'd help him get to me. I alwaus do. I think about him today because I need him. And if I would call him right now he and a slew of unknowns would have been here yesterday. Because he would ask me, &$*%#% what you need? What you need me to do to make it happen? How much you got to spare? And say OK, bet. I got you babe, don't stress or worry about a thing. But I lost that guy in 2023 and need. The point of this THEY WANT YOU TO BREAK, THEY WANT YOU TO FALL, THEY WANT TO SEE YOUR ROCK BUTTON AND THEY WANT YOU SEE YOU FALL BACK INTO YOUR OLD WAYS. WHY ... It makes them feel at ease for not being able to help you. It's there excuse they give themselves to not care.

This is the worst one I’ve ever dealt with. I have conversations with people and I need them to repeat their answers until I feel satisfied. Or If I didn’t hear them, I can’t just let it go, I have to ask them to repeat themselves until I know for sure what they said. I’ve had people asking me … “why do I always have to repeat myself??” And someone told me “you need to get your hearing checked” …I don’t mind suffering in silence by myself but since I have to bother others and involve people with this particular ocd it’s very exhausting. I’m trying ERP but it’s so difficult with this one. I feel like if I don’t get confirmation of what they said I’m not gonna ever find relief

so i’ve been thinking for years that i might have ocd and i’m finally going to talk to a psychologist this month. but i have no experience with therapy at all and i’m terrible at describing how i feel in general. even when i was asked by the intake coordinator about my symptoms i had trouble articulating what i meant. it’s like as soon as someone asks me i have trouble remembering what i want to say and getting the words out. should i just make a list and read it when the time comes? i’ve also been worried because this psychologist does not specialize in ocd. she does have experience with erp and treats ocd but i’m still concerned that i won’t be understood. i’m starting to regret trying lol, can’t stop thinking about the what ifs. like what if i get misdiagnosed, or what if i’m wrong and it’s not ocd. i don’t think i would know what to do if it’s not, i’m stressed

I don’t know what to do, I stopped taking my medication for almost 6 months due to a guy who left me, thought stopping my medication will make me better and a new person, but now my intrusive thoughts have started to come back . my room has been Renovated and today I saw the wood of my floor is peeling off a bit and now I’m having these thoughts where that I need to fix it or take the whole thing off and replace it with new wood which I cannot afford, how do I deal with this thought, I don’t know what’s happening to me, it feels really weird and uncomfortable like I need to do something. How do I move by this. I’m really upset to be going back on medication as I will be starting it again

I have known something was wrong with my “brain” for a long time. I am a recovering alcoholic who will be celebrating 5 years of Recovery in January. For me, drinking was my solution, not my problem however, I was OBSESSED with alcohol and could never say no to my CRAVINGS no matter how much self will I had. I eventually got sober through the program of AA, found a higher power and for many years my life was great. I never thought about alcohol and stayed active in AA. Over the past two years is when my Pure OCD started. First it was my relationship. Then I changed jobs and was in school for 9 months. I was constantly over studying, repetitive flash cards ever day, all because of fear of failure. It was the most stressed I have ever been in my whole life. The day before my final exam, I was driving and the word “alcohol” popped into my head. Not a craving or a want, just “alcohol.” I immediately started spiraling. “Why am I thinking about this” “why won’t this go away” “is my addiction/craving back.” It was torture. I became so scared of relapse I went to an AA meeting everyday, called my sponsor everyday, started re working the steps. I started doing everything I did the first time that got me relief but yet the thought remained for three weeks. This is the night “my brain broke.” While engaging in sex with my partner, an image of someone close to me popped in my head. Not in a sexual manor but because I was in the act my brain associated with it. I spiraled for two weeks. I was convinced I was a pedophile. Constantly seeking re assurance, re playing past memories. Every day my brain found a new fear. During that time I remember almost NEVER thinking about alcohol. At some times I welcomed that thought to come back. I have started therapy and my POCD has slowed down a lot and the thought/fear of alcohol is back and constantly in my mind. This poses a challenge for my brain. Is this an OCD fear or is it craving? My brain can rationalize now (on good days) that I’m not a pedophile but with alcohol it’s something I was addicted too and always will be. So my question is, is there anyone out there struggling with OCD and is also in recovery?

Warning!! This will have some 18+ stuff. I know I shouldn’t be ruminating about this but this whole off and on 6 year SOOCD thing started because I thought a kpop idol (who was masculine presenting/androgynous) was attractive. It made me very uncomfortable finding out that she was indeed a woman. In some pictures and angles she looked like another male kpop idol, but in some she looked like a woman and the attraction just went away. But my brain went to full panic mode because I was worried that it meant something about me. Logically I know this doesn’t mean anything and that I can just move on. I’ve even had friends (they are straight) in high school tell me they would sometimes mistake a super masculine lesbian/androgynous woman as men, find them attractive, realize they’re women, and then just move on. I’ve even had masculine lesbian friends, teammates, and coaches, and I never thought anything about it or felt attraction to any of them (even if they were conventionally attractive). But my brain brings in past stuff like how I was attracted to a manly cartoon character, bc again THEY LOOKED LIKE MEN. I literally did not care or get triggered until SOOCD started. Idc ab childhood exploration or ab the fact that TMIIIIII!!! I am aroused by anything remotely sexual (sorry), I completely forgot about it until a couple months ago and It has never changed the fact that I’ve only ever wanted to be with men and have been attracted to men all my life 😭. It just makes the false attractions and groinal responses harder to pass by bc my brain automatically tells me “UR LYING YOU LIKE THIS! UR YEARS OF NUMBNESS, LOSS OF ATTRACTION, AND LIBIDO IS BC UR GAY!” But when ocd wasn’t at my throat, and I was entering a happier headspace, I was noticing the attraction coming back, and for the first time in years I developed a crush on someone (my now boyfriend). I’ve always found him cute and had a crush on him but ocd likes to tell me that never happened and i’m lying but whatever. Anyways, I developed a real crush again, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted to touch him (not super freaky touching😭 just like caressing his hair and face), I wanted to talk to him and be around him, I couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning and talk to him bc I just felt so giddy and like a normal person again, I had all the crush feelings for him. Before the SOOCD flare up I was just so happy and excited. I was worried about the numbness, which i’m pretty sure is from years of not doing ERP and off and on struggle with really bad depression. Highschool was pure hell for me, I got a tiny bit better after graduating, and then I had to drop out of school for a bit bc the depression became unbearable again. Although I am better now, my new therapist now even told me I do have signs of moderate depression. Best way I can describe the way I feel is like a rock. I feel like all my emotions are muted. I don’t have any hobbies, wants, goals, I feel like a rock with a bunch of feet walking over and around me. I liked reading and going on walks but even that is too much energy again. For the past 4 years I’ve spent my days rotting away just laying down. Also, TMI!!!! I literally have no libido or sex drive, I don’t even do the self stuff (ykwim) bc I have 0 desire to do it. My man was slowlllyyy waking up all the emotions but this ocd spiral has sent me back to my rock like state. TMI!! Me and my bf have been slightly intimate but Im ALWAYS in my head majority of the time and checking feelings and arousal (esp since i have no libido) which ruins it. But when I was in the moment laying on him and we were just kissing here and there, I felt sooooooo amazing. Idk the right word but it felt so peaceful, loving, calming, and just right 😭. Even yesterday I was starting to spiral again bc OCD started to make fake memories, he called me and I was starting to tune out the OCD, and I felt the peace again. I felt the happiness just talking to him again. I’m at a point where idc what ocd says anymore, Im really tired and done debating with this evil disorder. I just want to enjoy my relationship again bc I KNOW that was the real me. It felt so freeing to have a small taste of recovery 😭. Ik I did compulsions (basically habits now bc I haven’t had proper treatment for so long) and things did trigger me, but when I was IN THE MOMENT everything was just so nice and sweet and just really amazing 😭. I hope I can feel all that again soon.

So recently I've been suffering from relationship OCD. It's been going on for around 2 months and mainly involves intrusive thoughts of me being disloyal to my girlfriend, as well as mental compulsions to check former memories of conversations I've had with female friends and analyse my social behaviour with girs in daily life. I've found that when I'm at university OCD tales form in social situations where I convinceyself that every movement or word I speak is an attempt to attract or charm someone. And when I'm at home and the social anxiety has less power, I suffer from Intrusive sexual thoughts of my female freinds as well as former sexual partners. Ive found myself going from my flat at university back to my home and back again. Never staying in one place for more than a couple of days. It seems likey OCD is adapting to my surroundings does anyone know how to tackle this.

I have been blocked by so many people on here, I am struggling with POCD and real events OCD because of the stupid positions I put myself in, and it feels like my worst pocd fears are coming true one by one... But since I put myself in these situations, I deserve this right? I deserve this pain and hell I created for myself right?? This is absolutely what I deserve right...? I dont pity myself because why would I pity something I despise...? I dont even see myself as a human anymore... i see myself as an "it". UPDATE: Oh dear god... I think my worst fears came true... I think I unknowingly ERP'ed with a minor on an 18+ discord server 5 years ago... they currently are on Astralspiff's discord, having been there since 2023, and have switched their username, with a chicken emoji as their bio... they also switched their profile picture from Nana Osaki to a fan art of Kasame Teto... its making me think that these three things are certainties that she was a minor on the 18+ sexual server... and that I ERP'ed with her not knowing this... Im genuinely feeling shocked and sick to my stomach right now... they don't have their age listed on discord or anything, but they joined 5 years ago and it was 4 years ago that we ERP'ed... god I feel disgusted and horrified right now... someone talk to me... please.... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it...

This is absolute hell. Growing up I was exposed to several bad doctors who really had no business working in pediatrics. I have something I'd like to get checked out but the thought of being examined paralyzes me. Nothing helps with the PTSD. Sedatives don't help me get through exams. Bringing support doesn't work because the worst of the abuse occurred when my parents were present and they never lifted a finger to protect me. I'm equally threatened by men and women. I've tried several therapists and things are going on that I don't want to get into that id like to get treated but I'm terrified of the people who could actually help. Telehealth is a godsend but if I need to be seen I'm out of luck. I'm just venting, really I don't expect any solutions. It's just frustrating, what an awful combination. The latent fear that I might be dying from a preventable disease that I could have dismissed if I just got examined versus my crippling trauma surrounding being examined.

I was doing fine. My psychiatrist told me we can quit the medicine. And my therapist told me that i don't need to continue therapy since i was in a good place where i could control my OCD symptoms. But a couple days ago my intrusive thoughts came back. And yesterday i went to see my psychiatrist and she decided to go back to my usual dose. But she also told me she had suspicions that what i have is OCD. She told me i could be more like Generated Anxiety disorder. But when i tell her about my most prominent intrusive thought, she told me this was OCD and i should not dwell on the titles. I am confused and panicked now thinking if i am not OCD, then what i am thinking is real? But i don't want it to be. The thought makes me scared and panicked. And i find myself thinking about it constantly. Looking for evidences and checking my past memories. And then i go back to thinking what if i am in denial and this fear is the fear of denial? What should i do? How can i stop this chain of thoughts?

I think I felt it but idk if I did cus idk what it feels like. It felt like nothing in my house was mine. Looking at pics of me and her it looked like I was looking at someone else. It’s like I’m forgetting my self and things that are related to me. Am I manking it up or not. Can someone help please. OCD is rlly draining.

I started talking about my ROCD (generally) with my partner and I realize that was NOT helpful. It turned into me freaking out because I feel like my partner doesn’t think it’s as bad as it is? Does that make sense? It’s like I want him to fully get it so that way he knows what he’s dealing with. And can choose to leave me if he thinks that’s best. It’s like I overthink the ENTIRE conversation and feel like I need to share more or understand exactly why he said something and exactly what it meant. And he says he’s not worried bc I’m doing what my therapist says… so would he be worried without a therapist? Idk I’m overthinking everything.